In health care, we codify just about everything numerically.  Test results are reported in numbers, reasons for admission to the hospital are expressed in Diagnosis Related Groups (DRGs), outpatient services are reported in Common Procedural Terminology (CPT) codes, diagnoses and procedures are reported in International Classification of Diseases – 9th Edition – Clinical Modification (ICD-9-CM) codes.

ICD-9 codes are the most comprehensive codification system that we use in the industry.  Most of these codes are numeric in nature and are used to describe a diagnosis (724.2 is Lumbago) or procedures (45.23 is a diagnostic colonoscopy).  But, some of these codes are “V” codes and are used to describe factors influencing health status and contact with health services.

Some of these codes are fun to use in conversation amongst the knowledgeable – V62.1 represents Adverse Effects of Work Environment; V62.4 is Social Maladjustment.  We frequently send emails to each other using these “V” codes when circumstances dictate.

Today, I sent one of my colleagues – I was expressing my frustration by asking how we should code a case where an individual expresses his frustration by bending over at the waist and running head first into a brick wall.  We concluded that the case would likely get coded as a 307.3 (head banging), 800.00 (closed skull fracture with unspecified state of conciousness) and the aforementioned V62.1 and V62.4.

I bring up V62.89, because it seems to describe politicians perfectly.  V62.89 classifies Borderline Intellectual Functioning, which seems to describe what certain politicians are suffering from these days.  Mind you, I know that this malady is not unique to Republicans, but recently they have held a monopoly on this affliction.

Today, the Governor of South Carolina resigned as Chairman of the National Governors Association because it was revealed that he was having an affair with a woman from Argentina.  Worse yet, he dropped out of sight for the last five days to go visit her, leaving most people in SC to wonder who was running the state.

Six days ago, Senator John Ensign of Nevada admitted to having an affair with a married campaign aide.  His revelation lead to his resigning his GOP Hypocrisy Leadership position – remember, he called for both President Clinton and former Senator Larry Craig (D-IA) to resign after their respective V62.89 episodes.

Other famous politicians who suffer from V62.89 -

Senator John Edwards, who had an affair while his wife was battling breast cancer.  Talk about hootspa.

Everyone’s favorite gay liberal, Representative Barney Fife Franks of Massachusetts, who not only used a male prostitute, but allowed the individual to live in his home and practice his profession out of the Congressman’s house.

And, let us not forget Governor Elliott Spitzer of New York, whose wonderful behavior lead to his resignation last year.

All in all, we have some fine examples of Borderline Intellectional Function (V62.89), potentially an Adverse Effect of their Work Environment (V62.1).  Clearly, they all suffer from conditions covered under V40 (Mental and Behavioral Problems.

Personally, I suffer from 300.3 Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in that I am obsessed with taking cruises.  If I don’t take enough cruises, my 300.02 (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) tends to transform into 300.01 (Panic Disorder), which eventually becomes 300.1 (Hysteria).

So, please take pity on me and someone send me on a cruise – any cruise to pretty much anywhere (Ocho Rios and the Dominican need not apply).

JustJon